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Postby gary bamford on Tue Jun 05, 2012 5:42 pm

Random thoughts from a VJ's mind............

Hello, and thanks for reading this column. Regular readers will know that its normally a few words about whats happening on my dance floors, a bit of blatant self promotion, and a list of big tunes. Nothing more, nothing less. Well its in a free magazine, what do you expect? William Shakespeare? Mark Twain? JK Rowling?

Well this month we're having something different! This month I've been inspired to use this space to try and make the world a better place, to make a difference, to enrich peoples lives.......I mean, according to Lord Sugar (or as most of us know him, "the beardy bloke who invented Amstrad computers & fires people on the telly) free magazines are a huge growth industry and a major cultural statement. (If they're that much of a growth industry, why does the owner of this mag dress like a tramp and drive a 25 year old Skoda?) So I am now going to tackle a major problem in the world today, Don't worry its not phone hacking, the global economic crisis, or what dress Kate Middleton is wearing this week, we'll leave that to the Sunday "news" papers (If there are any left by the time this is published), The issue I'm going to try and sort out is this.........PEOPLE WEARING SUNGLASSES IN NIGHTCLUBS!!!

One of the best things about being a DJ/VJ is the "people watching" and we get to see some sights. For instance the two ladies who regularly frequent NB's, one who is incredibly thin, and the other isn't, and the regularly wear the same outfits, its like someone has put a fairground mirror between them, or the weird fella who looks like Super Mario, Dancing Joe (you all know him) or Steve the worlds oldest dancer, who looks like Jesus in a vest( If you're a student, you'll DEFINATELY know him)

Anyway, the latest thing seems to be wearing sunglasses in nightclubs! Firstly if you're in a trendy beach bar in Ibiza or Aya Napa, enjoying an afternoon set from a big name DJ, then by all means, go for it, But if you're in a nightclub in raining Northampton, its not really right is it? i mean really?? The clue is in the name, NIGHT club! Its night time, hence its dark! and you're wearing sunglasses!!!!! Also, look back at the previous sentence, you're IN a nightclub, INSIDE a nightclub!! INSIDE!!!!! Not too much sun in there is there?? I think I've got my message across there, I had a guy in the club the other night wearing sunglasses, and he kept lifting them up to see what he was texting on his phone! All i can assume is this must contribute to a persons "swagger" whatever that is. All i know is I'm grateful to Cher Lloyd for bringing it to our attention, With her brilliant version of 'Turn my swag on' on Britain’s Got No Talent( or whichever one it was) I now have a reminder that, before i leave the house in the morning, i must remember to turn my swag on, Many a morning I've got to my destination to realise that I've remembered my keys, phone etc but forgot to turn my swag on:( I'm sure you can all relate to that. And, as many a disgruntled partner will testify, its terrible when you get to bed with your loved one at the end of a hard day, only to realise they've forgotten to turn their swag back off again. Very little chance of sleep in that situation. So i guess what I’m trying to say is, Everyone should stop picking on Cher Lloyd for her, frankly awful single, Swagger Jagger, because she's providing a service with her previous offering. And also for giving us a point of reference when trying to describe what a chav is. oh, and STOP WEARING

1> FLORENCE & THE MACHINE-You Got The Love (Mark Knight Remix)
2> REM vs AXWELL-Losing My Religion (Blake Jarrell Mash Up)
3> DJ FRESH-Louder
4> FOSTER THE PEOPLE-Pumped Up Kicks
5> RIZZLE KICKS-Down With The Trumpets
6> BOX BOTTOM-Bounce 'n' Boom
7> BEASTIE BOYS feat. SANTIGOLD-Don't Play A Game I Can't Win
8> MANN feat. SNOOP DOGG & IYAZ-The Mack
9> EXAMPLE-Stay Awake
10> RADIO KILLER-Lonely Heart
12> CAHILL-In Case I Fall
13> MODESTEP-Sunlight
15> PITBULL feat.NE YO-Give Me Everything (Mikael Wills & Justin Sane Remix)
16> ADELE-Set Fire To The Rain (Moto Blanco Remix)
17> WRETCH 32-Don't Go (MJ Cole Remix)
18> HYSTERIC EGO-Want Love (Dean Newton Remix)
19> STERLING VOID-Alright (Rachel Ellektra Remix)
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gary bamford
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